Energy healing and what it means for me
In my path for spiritual awakening (or maybe spiritual satiety. At this point, am not quite certain), I found myself signing up for an Energy Healing session. Truthfully, a girl needs as much help as possible. It started with a 30 min chat with Michelle, a friend of a friend who calls herself a “Intuitive energy healer, Meditation guide, Wellness healer”. Trust me, I was just as sceptical as the next person, but I decided to dispel judgement for a moment, letting our chat flow, we spoke about what I understood a healing to be and what I was meaning to get at the end of the session. Without going in too much detail, I took a little bit of time to have a chat with Jessica on what were some of the elements that seemed to stick to me and it made me think about; Sometimes rules are there to teach you the steps you need to take. It doesn’t mean your freedom is taken away I don’t always do super well with direction or authority without reason, whether that’s at home, work, or school. That said, at points in my life, Im aware of the need to operate within the system. In the corporate world, relationships etc, there will be moments of compromise and discussion. And its necessary for me to develop the skills to take direction, while still leaning into my passions and strengths. Not only will this make my life easier but working for a company that has laid out plans or being with supportive people who have been clear with their expectations might not actually be as scary as it seems. Which also leads me to providing myself enough time to myself to process and not get too involved. As much as I enjoy the company of people and doing a million things, I do need a couple of days away void of social interaction to process and distance myself from internalizing emotional experiences that are not mine. This shares the same space as me taking up wayyy too many projects. With this taking real estate in my brain, this can be incredibly overwhelming and frustrating. Convinced that there is something always better in the horizon. Hence, never being satisfied and taking on too many projects. Fully aware that there just aren’t enough hours in the day to do all the things that I want to. I’m notorious for taking on way too many projects at once and, even when they realize they’re in over their heads, trying to finish everything anyway. It’s a good idea to be a little honest with myself. I realised this is all about finding balance between wanting to try everything, and actually managing a responsible workload. With people and things, I can care for someone/thing and love them dearly, while keeping my emotions and feelings my own. All this while taking a step back and pausing from a safe distance. Nurul 200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
Yoga Nidra and Astral projection
Sound baths, crystal bowls, gongs, meditation and tarot. While my friends roll their eyes at my love for the woo woo, there’s something about spirituality that excites me. It might be the eternal grey area it sits between rational thinking and being ambivalence, that splits even the fervent of beings to hate on it. Whatever. I love me a good underdog story That being said; out of all the woo woo-ness that Ive tried, Meditation at its best feels just like a trip I want to eternally be on. In my first description of a very exciting sound bath meditation, I described it as; OMG I was floating ABOVE my body! I bet this is what it feels like when you apparated or astral projected,, but you are in limbo and never made it to the other side (uwu) Yea, those words did not convince my friends any further to join in my spiritual path, and that’s ok. We then learnt Yoga Nidra in class, which sounded a lot like elaborate priming technique or an ingenious way to psych yourself to do anything. And I was psyched and ready to hypnotised We laid on our mats, and, followed along the verbal instruction on what to do. His voice. soothing and steady, with that hint of Indian accent that reminded me of my first teacher, and I have to admit, it was hard to stay awake during the journey. But as we got further along, I can’t remember everything that was said but in random instances, I felt a sharp jolt in a part of my body. Like electric nodes were placed in the most randomest of spots while I focused on breathing into them. And then it happened again, at several points I left my body. I felt parts of me becoming numb, to the point that they almost felt too big for me as I slipped out of the coat of my skin. I could still hear the words leading us along, but I was floating – somewhere above my body, like a humid cloud hovering so close to the surface of awareness. There were no bright lights, no trippy rainbow chakras, no ever-growing lotus before my eyes, but this state of non-being was the absolute best. It felt even greater than the feeling of weightlessness and silence the water brings as you submerge yourself in — cause there was no fear where I was. When we finished, Jessica asked us how we felt. As always, I kept mum. It was hard for me to describe it – it was like the sheer thrill of being on the upswing of a playground swing, but also serendipitous as it’s not a state you can be in for long periods of time. We finished the day off, and when I left, my body and mind were tingling, and I had one of the best sleep to date. It was a soothing feeling, and Im hoping I find a way to tap on to that practice to keep this feeling with me for several days a week. Maybe with this, I can teach myself to be a lot braver. Maybe. We’ll see. Nurul 200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
Yoga Teaching Exams = Done and Passed!
I could not be more elated and relieved! Both my teaching exams were at 8am this weekend – Saturday with a couple of my best friends and with my lovely, supportive batchmates; Sunday with my hilarious family. It feels so amazing to finally be done with the exams. Although this is something that I want to spend my life doing, I still felt really nervous, especially on the first day. My first class did not go terribly but it also did not go as well as I had hoped it would. I messed up a few of the cues and instructions, confused my lefts and rights, and clearly was not myself – I wasn’t as confident as I should have been. Nonetheless, I told myself not to be too self-critical and judgmental. To remember that I am still learning, still growing, still just only beginning. And for a beginner, it was a decent job. My second class on Sunday was much more fun for many reasons. Firstly, I wasn’t as nervous as I was the day before. Second, the sequence was much simpler and that added to my confidence. Third, I was teaching my favourite people: my cousins and some very special friends. I had a blast teaching! We shared a few giggles here and there, I felt confident giving out cues and instructions, I was more mindful as to adjustments and demonstrations, trying not to overdo or underdo any of it. I still demonstrated a bit too much, according to some of my batchmates feedback, and at some points my back was facing the class – which is not very good for a teacher to do. Other than that, I feel very happy about my second class, I think it went well and I am proud of myself. Overall, I enjoyed teaching both classes very much. The experience and exposure has given me much to think about and reflect on. I can be more mindful of my future classes, sequencing, instructions, adjustments, tone, etc. honing my skills and everyday growing and evolving to be a better teacher and student in yoga. I am forever grateful and thankful for my experiences here at the Yoga Mandala, especially to my teacher Jessica for being so supportive and patient with me every step of the way, always telling me exactly what I need to hear to ground myself. Ramier 200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
Savasana
Often when I was engrossed in the class, the time for the final pose savasana would seem too quickly. Before we realise, this YTT journey is coming to an end. During savasana, like meditation, the lingering thoughts in my mind inevitably resurfaced at times. What happens after I step out the mat? How do I continue with the unfinished plans I had prior to class? I eventually resumed the identity of my daily life. So we asked at the end of the journey, where would this YTT course one day leads us to? This is in fact the standard question that my friends or colleagues who knows I am taking this course would ask. And I told them, it is the process. 25 days of training might not seem long, but the breakthroughs and insight we gained certainly last. I have always thought it is tough to teach a yoga class, as I do not have good memory or observation skills. I remembered having bad insomnia the day before my community class. It was a mixed feeling of excitement and worries. Nevertheless, like how during a yoga class when my emotions and thoughts made way for the practice, that mixed feeling disappeared when I was teaching. My mind was present during the class and the experience of guiding someone else’s practise was truly accomplishing and enjoyable. It did not feel like an hour long session either! Besides learning to guide the practice of others, essentially I learnt to guide my own practise through YTT. It provided me the space to consolidate my thoughts and relationship with the practice itself. At the start of the course, Jessica mentioned that “YTT marks only the beginning of the journey”. I am now confident in that too. With every Savasana, I look forward to the next time I practise on the mat ☺ Evette 200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
Metamorphosis
As time passes, I can feel myself very slowly evolve from being a yoga practitioner to a yoga teacher. Of course, there is still so much to learn, so much to improve on, and so many things to understand about yoga, spirituality, anatomy, other people and myself. With consistent practice, I’ve been able to make multiple breakthroughs that I am very happy with. I can comfortably hold a side crow for longer, get into astavakrasana, get into an EPK (!!!), and even experienced half a second of a handstand after being brought into it with Jessica’s guidance and patience with me. I’ve learned to appreciate and be proud of myself for taking things one step at a time. I used to tend to rush into things, wanting to master something immediately and then beating myself up for it if I didn’t. Back in one of our handstand practice classes, Jessica came up to me and observed me for some time. She then told me there no point in hopping up and down a hundred times if I cant first sit and recognize what it is I am afraid of, and why it is holding me back from something I am physically capable of doing. That thought process really helped me to sit back and be more introspective in my physical practice. I am overly introspective in other, more personal aspects of my life but when it boils down to physically doing something, I expect myself to be able to succeed even with many mental barriers that I refuse to acknowledge and come to terms with – sometimes even choosing to ignore them. Putting my own practice aside, I have also been getting more comfortable teaching other people for their benefit. I realise that I enjoy teaching my friends and family one-on-one much more than I enjoy teaching many people at once (that it not to say I don’t enjoy teaching classes, I do). When teaching one-on-one I notice that I become hyper observant and tend to ask them many questions about how they are feeling in their body, in their mind too. I find it easier and in some ways, more meaningful giving people the specific right feedback that would directly benefit them and their practice, their lives. It feels like a greater impact knowing that sometime through the day, this person felt the benefits of the practice we shared and randomly tells me about it. Teaching in a class is more lively and vibrant with all the different energies colliding but its difficult to attend to every student and I end up feeling really bad about it and feeling like I had failed at teaching all of them to the best of my abilities. The pressure kicks in and I end up messing up the class and calling myself out for my mistakes. I know I shouldn’t and that is something to work on. Nonetheless, I am very excited and am feeling a lot of positivity. Next weekend, both Saturday and Sunday at 8am are my community classes. In one class I am calling 4 of my very best friends that I’ve known since I was 7. In another, my family – my cousins who are my favourite people, and some friends too. I am so excited, not to show them that I am a yoga teacher and that they should respect that, but simply to share my time with them in a meaningful and productive and fun way. I am so incredibly nervous I can’t describe it with words but at the same time I am looking forward to it very much. I foresee myself getting very emotional when the second class is over, knowing I completed my teaching exams and I am soon going to be qualified to share my growing knowledge of yoga out in the world. Please leave a box of tissues out for me! Ramier 200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
Week 3: Chakras & Sequencing
In Week 3 of our YTT at The Yoga Mandala, we learnt about the 7 Chakras in the human body. Jessica then explained how Chakras can be opened with different yoga poses targeted at specific areas of the body. For example, the grounding poses (i.e. standing and seated poses) help to open the Muladhara (Root) Chakra , while the chest opening poses help to open up the Anahata (Heart) Chakra. With this newfound knowledge in mind, it is interesting to finally understand how the flow of yoga sequences are formed – usually in the order of standing, seated, prone, supine, invert. This sequence serves to open the Chakras from the lowest (Muladhara Chakra) to the highest (Sahasrara Chakra, aka Crown Chakra). We were tasked to list 3 poses per category following the ‘standing, seated, prone, supine’ order, plus 1 inversion. The rule for this in-class activity was that we were only allowed to use 1 pose from our ‘cheat sheet’ of poses. Jessica explained that the main objective of this activity was for us understand the categorization of the poses, so there was no need for us to think about the transitions from one pose to another. It was glaringly obvious how quickly and easily the regular/long-time practitioners in the class completed this actitvity, while I was struggling to come up with poses outside of the ‘cheat sheet’ even without having to think about the flow of these poses. I eventually called it quits for the day and requested to send in my assignment that same night instead. As a relatively new yogi who skipped the beginner/fundamental levels and dove (a little too) bravely into the slightly deeper end of the sport for less than a year, this task proved to be extremely difficult for me. My yoga vocabulary was very limited as I mostly attended ABI/Pincha classes on Zoom and did not explore other styles of classes. Moreover, when I attended the classes, I went through the flows without really paying too much attention nor did I try to remember the poses until the fun bits – the arm balances & inversions. Reflecting upon this activity, I realised that I really do need to be more exposed to yoga and also be more aware and present during classes. It will not only help me to be more versatile and ensure variety in my sequences, but also improve my own practices. Melissa 200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
Non-Physical Aspects of Yoga
I’ve surprised myself by the interest I showed in the non-physical aspects of yoga (i.e. besides asana, pranayama, meditation). Below are some of the topics that were discussed and my thoughts on them: – 8 Limbs of Yoga o To me, this is really a way of life. A good reminder of how one should conduct ourselves (Yama, Niyama), how to take care of our body (Asana, Pranayama) and stay in tune with ourselves (Pratyahara, Dharana, Dhyana, Samadhi). – Dosha types o Essentially a yogic personality profile, what’s interesting about this is that it combined both personality as well as physical dimensions (e.g. build/frame, sensitivity to temperature, appetite, common ailments, sleep patterns, etc) o Theoretically, there are food that one should ingest vs avoid depending on your dosha type – maybe one day I should try being more conscious about this and see if there’s any impact! – Chakras o One of those things that some may attribute to the spiritual part of yoga (because it’s intangible?). o Personally, I have always been quite curious about individual’s energy, although my logical mind is well-trained by decades of education to be skeptical about things that cannot be observed o Nonetheless, my friends and I decided to check out the aura photography which allows us to see our chakra in the form of colours. o Long story short, we were all rather intrigued by what our aura picture revealed about us. I thought I would have more YELLOW/GOLD – maybe I can revisit this in 6- 12 months’ time? – Yoga Nidra o Was entirely unaware of this aspect of Yoga prior to the YTT, which sounds very similar to hypnosis. We were reminded to be careful if we want to explore this further, as it can be used with ill intentions. o Wish we had more time to explore this in class though! – Cleansing Techniques o It was an eye opener hearing about this. I think I will think twice before signing up for an yoga cleansing retreat! o Of the 8 techniques shared, I am only comfortable with Kapalabhati and Trakata. Trakata was not the most comfortable experience, but I think it is a good exercise for the eyes. o This was not covered as part of the cleansing techniques, but thought I would also mention the “stomach vacuum” and “washing machine” exercises that we did, which were supposed to help with digestion. Something that I would like to practise and perfect as well! Nge Hwee 200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
Breathing techniques
Before YTT, I’ve only heard of two yoga breathing techniques – Ujjayi and Kapalbhati. Imagine my surprise to learn that there are at least 5 different techniques! Although I knew what Ujjayi’s breath was, I did not get to learn this properly as breathing exercises are usually brief in commercial yoga classes. For example, I always thought that the sound was only made upon exhalation, instead of for both inhalation and exhalation. When Jessica first demonstrated the Ujjayi’s breath in class, I was amazed at how her breathing sound was so loud and consistent for both inhalation and exhalation. Jessica tried various ways to help us visualise how to form that sound – from saying HAAA with mouth close, to imagine fogging up a mirror, to bringing your tongue to the back and top of your throat. It took me 4 weekend days of meditation, and random practices during the work day (my colleagues were probably wondering what’s wrong), to finally manage a consistent sound that I can sustain throughout meditation practice. I now have a goal to do this loud enough so that I can demonstrate in class. For Kapalbhati, I had the chance to learn this properly prior to YTT, so it was not too difficult. It was interesting though to learn that one should not overdo this active breathing technique… Of the three new techniques that we learnt, Bharmari (“Bumblebee”) was the hardest to master. Most of us sound like we are gasping for air, so its quite ironic that this technique is supposed to help with relaxation and insomnia! Nge Hwee 200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
Bones, joints, muscles and adjustments
Didn’t think I would learn so much about bones, joints and muscles from YTT, but I’m very glad we did. I was taken aback by my spinal check, which revealed that I sometimes have a bit of hip rotation and tilt when I’m standing in a relaxed manner, as well as a flat middle back. I always thought that I’m rather stiff and don’t feel comfortable with backbends, so it was a “ah-ha!” moment for me. I also didn’t expect to hear that I have a weak ankle, partly because I pride myself for only spraining my ankle once in my lifetime. I realised that there is a difference between strong and stable ankle, and a weak but flexible ankle – I roll onto the outside of my feet quite often actually, just that I don’t end up with a sprained ankle. It was also a gainful experience learning about the joint movements, as well as muscle engagement, required to get into and hold the various yoga poses. It definitely made me more mindful in my asana practice, at the same time provide clarity on how to deliver cues to students as a yoga teacher. Thought I would also discuss physical adjustments as part of this post. We spent more than a weekend discussing physical adjustments for various yoga poses, which was very helpful for me as this is not intuitive for me – I am usually worried that I push/pull on the wrong parts, or give the wrong verbal adjustments. Despite knowing the theory and trying it with my fellow course mates, I do think I’ll need more practice with different body types before I become confident of my physical adjustments. Are there ways for me to gain more experience as well as get feedback on whether I am doing this right? Nge Hwee 200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
Perceptions
Chatting with some friends today after YTT: Friend A: So what did you learn today? Me: Oh we learnt the warrior sequence and – (before I could continue) Friend B: Oh yeah I know all about that! Warrior 1, 2, 3, Reverse warrior, humble warrior, blah blah… I nodded, smiled, and replied yeah that, and before I could talk about the other interesting things I learnt that day, they started going on about the other poses they know. It definitely got me thinking how I was possibly just like them before I started my YTT journey. Patanjali’s 8 limbs of yoga tells us that Asana, more easily understood as the physical yoga poses that we do, are but just one limb of yoga. Chasing the asanas, therefore, should not be our only focus if we were to live a more yogic lifestyle. However, it does seem a very common misconception for many, myself included. As I start to progress more throughout my YTT experience, I need to remind myself not to forget how I was like before, and to be considerate, understanding and even accepting to the varying perceptions of others. Emilyn 200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21
