I decided to enrol for TYM’s YTT one day before the course commenced. Jess told me not to come down right after work to pay. She told me to sleep on it and turn up in the morning if I wanted, then make payment for the course.
I think this sums up much my life thus far. Me teetering on the edge of impulsiveness, only to be held back (or, more accurately, protected) by the people I choose to surround myself with.
Thankfully, our 10-20 minute meditation / pranayama session each morning before our physical practice has, I think, given me the tools to balance my more erratic traits out.
I was introduced a few years ago to the practice and value of mindfulness, although it was more like a vague, somewhat incomprehensible, “OK, you are here now so focus on the now” kind of thing.
At YTT, being forced to sit with most of my body rooted to the ground (sit in a comfortable and easy position, and ground your sit bones, make sure you’re not leaning too far forwards or backwards) and having to literally count the duration of my inhales and exhales (as my chest-ribs-stomach rise and fall), however, is a real game changer. I’ve always been a more tactile person when it comes to learning / doing, and attaching the physical to the mental really helps to reorder and reset my mind.
Having to do it for such an extended period of time and with this frequency has kind of drilled into me the fact that I can turn to meditation at any point of my week / day / life. Now, if I catch myself and find myself giving in to an impulse, I try to meditate and think about the emotion I am feeling, and then consider if it’s an appropriate response to the situation. And, in my books, this split-second reflection / deliberation is half the battle won 🙂