Growing up in a typical Asian family especially with two elder siblings who are both still dependent on my parents and still a constant source of worry for them, my parents had a lot of expectations of me and of course a part of me did not want to add on more worries or disappoint them, given the pain that they are going through with the two elder siblings.
I never told my parents before I started the YTT that I was going to be doing it. I didn’t think it would go very well – when I left my job 3 years ago, there were a lot of comments that went along the lines of “why is your husband so much more successful when he has the same degree”, “why did we spend so much money sending you to the top schools?”, and “did you study so hard just to cook and fix the TV at home?”. So imagine if I told them that I was going to ignore my degrees and handful of professional charters, and become a yoga teacher…
But yesterday I finally casually told them during dinner that I was doing the YTT. Surprisingly I didn’t get any of the comments that I’m used to getting and they calmly asked me what it is about and if I will be teaching Yoga when I complete the course. I told them that I wasn’t sure yet but at least I am happy and having fun, and I didn’t have to drag myself out of bed at 6am each morning like I did at work.
Then to my utter shock, my mother texted me later to tell me that she was proud of me, that she is very happy that I am making full use of my life. I have no idea where that came from, and the mother I’ve known for 33 years of my life would never have said something like that. I don’t think she even said that she was proud of me when I got all my degrees and charters.
Perhaps it’s a sign that this might be what I was meant to do?
Maybe, maybe not. Whatever it is and wherever this leads, I hope to have the courage and chance to continue to do whatever makes me happy.