This weekend was the first time I attempted Fallen Angel. Before being able to get into
Fallen Angel, one must first enter Side Crow. I still have trouble with stability and stillness in
my Side Crow. I even fell on my chin in one attempt. It is still swollen and hurting a little –
but it was totally worth it. Shocking myself with a fall was necessary to gain a little bit of
confidence. I think it is what made me feel more comfortable leaning down gently into that
tripod-type foundation for a Fallen Angel. I hope I can put this sentiment into practice again
when it comes down to doing a headstand, or any other inversion for that matter.
I found that I talked to myself in my head a lot in practice today. Not that I don’t usually; we
all talk to ourselves in our heads constantly. But it was especially so for me today, and I think
doing that was what nudged me to put my mind over matter, to stop questioning why I felt so
anxious, to erase feelings of self-doubt and to just try. I would stare at the mat for a good
minute allowing my brain to process all of the cues and words and instructions and awareness
and feelings and “okay you got this you’re fine breathe and focus and just do it”. After some
time of letting those thoughts race all over the place, there comes a moment of quiet; a
moment of what I can only describe as surrender. It is in that moment I lean into the attempt.
Failing was tiring and frustrating, succeeding was temporary bliss. Overall, the entire
experience was fun and liberating. The plethora of feelings you get to immerse yourself into
each time you practice yoga is one of the reasons why I love it so much.
200 Hour YTT Feb-May’21