Pratyahara – This is going to be the hardest limb for me.
For years, when asked to sit still, I will unknowingly fidget somehow, be it
shifty feet or twitching fingers. I can’t control the twitches that go on in my
body when trying to sit or be still – even the eyelids! It is more apparent when
I’m focusing on the breath and the body just lets loose. The twitches are wild.
Also, I hear every single thing that happens from the cars driving past to the
lady sneezing downstairs. When studying or needing to focus, my technique
is to always have a secondary distraction (like music) to drown out the primary
distraction but with meditation at the studio, it’s a whole new ball game. I hear
everything to a point where I don’t hear my own breathing and will have to
consciously ATTEMPT to focus on breathing. It’s toughest when I don’t have
a secondary distraction.
Really hoping that throughout the course of the YTT, all of this would improve.
I know I can’t change the brain and habits completely in 5 weeks but one can
try. I also know that I need to nail this because if I have to teach a class, I
NEED the focus and presence and once I lose that, I lose everyone!
200 Hour YTT Nov’19