Nia: 20 September
Today’s practice felt extra difficult!! I had to teach Surya Namaskar A today, so I was the first up to teach. I was still pretty tired since I didn’t get much sleep the previous night, so I think I sounded quite deadpan, which might have made everybody feel extra tired too. Jessica told me halfway through the first set of Surya A that I needed to sound a bit livelier, only then did I realise how stony I sounded hahaha. After that I tried to sound a bit chirpier but I’m not sure if that worked. When we got to pincha I wasn’t even sure if I could hop up because my triceps and traps were quite achey from yesterday. But after the 10 preparatory hops I managed to hang for a bit without collapsing to the wall so I was quite surprised with myself. I managed a few more hangs and then my form started to deteriorate a little. And then I realised we still had the other side to go HAHA. Jessica also taught me to pike headstand, which I haven’t really been able to properly manage on my own. The surprising thing was that I practically managed to do it on my own the first time she guided me up the pike. Seems like I’ve surprised myself more than I can count during this YTT. I am quite pleased with today’s practice. Not looking forward to the full body ache on Monday/Tuesday tho hahaha. Nia RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Nil: 13 September – Pranayama
During today’s pranayama practice, I think I experienced the feeling of ‘lightness’ or weightlessness that Jessica had mentioned to us before. Before the YTT, I never imagined that I would’ve been able to sit still for a pranayama practice for 20 minutes, let alone half an hour. And yet here I am! Though there are days where my mind is completely distracted and my body is screaming at me to move. But most days I think I would be able to meditate for 20 minutes comfortably. I never thought I would say this but sometimes, I even look forward to it. I’ve reduced or sometimes even just foregone the kapal bhati and bhastrika practice, because I feel like it affected my moods during the first few weeks that we did it. Jessica explained that it might make some people more hot-tempered. I’m not sure if I was imagining it but I did feel like I was becoming quick to anger, so I stopped doing it. I stick to ujayyi and nadi shodhana instead. After using mindfulness apps like headspace and not being able to sustain the practice, I used to think that maybe meditation was not for me. After a few weeks of regular meditation on the YTT weekends I feel like I’ve learned so much more, not only about different breathing techniques but also about myself, and I hope I’d be able to continue the practice on my own after the YTT ends. Nia RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Nia: 6 September – Fear
Today we learned about pincha mayurasana. We all got a chance to try it out after morning practice. I’ve never attempted to pincha before so I was low-key nervous, but I figured some of the others were probably feeling the same. And I reminded myself that it’s okay if the first attempts aren’t perfect. We all started by doing shoulder opening exercises with blocks, and they were really painful but it was worth it. Next we went into dolphin pose to further open the shoulders and to get used to the feeling of hopping up from there. When we finally attempted to hop up to the wall, I had the same problem I did when we were attempting handstand. I didn’t dare hop high enough. I have an intense fear of inversions. Or was it something more? Maybe what I actually feared was falling over? Jessica came by to assist and I managed to touch the wall with my toes, but apparently I kept kicking away from the wall. She said something that I found quite funny at the time, but looking back maybe there was some truth in it. She said that maybe I had the fear of success. As I took a break from the pincha practice I had a mini epiphany. I thought about what Jessica said. I asked myself what could possibly go wrong if I managed to do a pincha (nothing much, except maybe fall on my nose and break my neck) and decided to really give my 100% on my next attempts. I gave a good hop and my legs went up, and I felt the weightlessness and let it be instead of panicking, and then I landed on the wall safely. It wasn’t perfect form, but I went up! From there I tried to correct myself – tuck in ribs and tailbone, engage the legs. I tried to make friends with the feeling of weightlessness. It started to feel quite exhilarating, kind of like how you feel when you fly in crow. I’ve definitely still a lot to learn when facing fear, and I’m sure I’ll face it again when I learn another arm balance or inversion. But I know now that sometimes you really just shouldn’t overthink it and make a leap of faith (safely against a wall first of course). Nia RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Simran: Why are you doing this pose?
Let’s be real. How many of us want to do a yoga pose because it looks cool or pretty or Instagrammable? And how many of us want to do a pose because it’s got great mental or physical benefits? I’ve spent years belonging to the former camp. I’d look at photos of people doing these incredible poses and think ‘wow when would I ever be able to do that??’ I also remember how, a few years ago, I asked a friend if they could do the wheel pose and when they nonchalantly nodded, I felt so incompetent. Why couldn’t I do the wheel pose?! Now in YTT, we are constantly reminded of how unique our bodies are and how certain poses may not be best suited for our bodies. For example, I now know that my lower back muscles are shortened and so backbends such as (ironically) the wheel pose may not be ideal for me. Which then got me thinking about the fact that every single time I’ve done Wheel, I’ve never felt comfortable and have always left the studio with a slight twinge in my lower back. Every time I’d lower myself back to the ground from Wheel, I’d feel an intense sense of relief that it was finally over. It was always thoroughly unenjoyable. Strange, isn’t it? Especially now that I know that asana means ‘easy and comfortable pose’. Jessica once asked us, ‘Why are you doing this pose? Is it for your ego? Is it then worth it?’ I can safely say that it isn’t worth it. Follow the limits of your body and let your love for yoga breathe and flourish without any unnecessary and potentially harmful expectations. Simran RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Simran: Mind-Body Connection
I first got to experience the mind-body connection when I began to have bloating, stomach cramps and sharp pains in the kidney area due to high levels of stress. (It also happened to be the reason why the doctor told me to ‘chill out’ and ‘start doing yoga’. Thanks, man.) The second most acute time that I got to experience it was just a few weeks ago, during YTT. On a Friday evening, I had met someone from my professional network and the hours’ long conversation left me with more questions than answers. Questions such as ‘am I not good enough?’ and ‘why wasn’t I accepted?’ and ‘why did that happen to me?’ These were questions that remained on my mind even till the next day, which happened to be a YTT day. That day, I came into the studio with a huge fog over myself. I was physically there but not actually present. I wasn’t very communicative. And I remember how during Pranayama, I kept thinking of the earlier night’s conversation. The fog was too heavy for me to even attempt to push away from my mind. As we got into our physical practice for the day, I couldn’t do any of the new poses – and many of the ones we had already been learning. One of them was astavakrasana. Everyone seemed to be getting it but I couldn’t, no matter how much I tried. When it was finally time for savasana (aka my favourite pose!), I lay down with my eyes wide open and only began to shut them to stop my tears from spilling out. I was miserable. The next morning, my alarm rang at 6am and the first thought I had was ‘I am going to have a fun day at YTT today’. And I did. I still couldn’t do a number of the poses but I laughed it off. Easy and breezy. Strangely, I decided to attempt astavakrasana again and I did it! I was in shock but also deliriously happy. I wasn’t much stronger compared to the day before. In fact, I was more sore and more tired. But the biggest difference was in my mind. I refused to let that fog overpower me. I refused to let myself have anything less than fun. I kept my mind light and somehow, my body also became light enough for me to take on that pose. Since then, I make it a point to check in with my mental being before my practice because I know how much of an impact it can have on my physical being. The mind-body connection is so powerful. Since yoga is all about staying in the present, it’s even more important to clear the mind because I’m learning and experiencing how yoga is as much a mental practice as it is a physical one. Simran RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Xiaohui: Blog 1 – Searching “Yoga for Scoliosis”
I have had scoliosis since I was a teenager. Back then, not many people knew what is scoliosis. I knew the surgery fees are high and my family may not be affordable. So, I hide my scoliosis from my parents. I try everything to hide my hump and my curve spine. Recent few years, I feel more and more uncomfortable at my neck, shoulders and back. I suspect it is due to my scoliosis. I searched and tried many methods. From TCM, Pilates, Chiropractic and even Yoga (before I found Jessica). The results were not what I expected and this drove me very depressed. “Surgery” crossed my mind, but surgery is always the solution as the last resort. I sought advice from a specialist doctor and the doctor did not advise me for surgery but to monitor the curve degree because my puberty age was already over. He said I may try yoga and Pilates. I am at the helpless junction again. It is so difficult to find a yoga teacher who can teach yoga for a scoliosis person. I still remembered, one day in 2019, I was waiting for the bus to work, I told myself, okay, let’s search online again for “yoga for scoliosis”. Yes! I found something related! “How Yoga Healed Jessica Sinclair’s Curved Spine & Gave Her a New Lease of Life” This subject drew ALL my attention. I read the full article and searched more for The Yoga Mandala. The journey of Jessica was so amazing! Without any delay and second thought, I contacted The Yoga Mandala for private class and Jessica invited me to speak to her in person, she explained to me the way of her teaching and her expectations of a student. After a few private sessions with Jessica, I felt so good (In fact, I felt very good after the first session)! I love her teaching. All the poses, instructions and addressed my problem so on the point! I felt that she could feel my feelings! (only the people who has scoliosis can really feel how I feel) I still remembered, Jessica told me, yoga is not the 1 hour on the mat only, I or we need to practice yoga at the moment I wake up, when I am walking, when I am sitting, even when I am breathing. Awareness is very important! I want to learn more from her! I want to help myself! “YTT” – What is YTT? Yoga teacher? Can I be a yoga teacher to teach myself? I am a super beginner in yoga, can I attend? Yes, I can attend the YTT! The Yoga Teacher Training! To be a teacher, to teach myself (at least for myself)! My YTT journey has begun! Xiaohui RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Rachelle: The Yamas and Niyamas (3/6)
A lot of people associate yoga with religion. It’s not necessary so and doesn’t have to be. It’s so much more than that. In yoga, the yamas and niyamas taught us the 10 tenets of living. It extends beyond doing yoga postures, it’s a way of living. It brings awareness not just to your body but also your thoughts. A journey towards the fulfilment that you seek for in life. Ishvara Pranidhana: Surrender, is one of the niyamas I struggle to live by. How tough it is to surrender your ego, to accept what you cannot change. People, including myself, thought physical part of yoga, was simply pushing yourself to the brink. Getting into a posture is more important than anything else. But often our body proportion just doesn’t allow us to do certain things. It’s then we need to know when to surrender, to listen to our body, to know when is enough, to be soft with yourself. “Do what is yours to do; don’t do what is not yours to do.” – Swami Rama Rachelle RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Rachelle: Camaraderie of YTT (2/6)
The first day of YTT was nerve-racking. Like many of firsts, it can be a daunting experience. Here we are, week 8 of our course with only 5 more weeks to go. I couldn’t imagine myself doing YTT with a better group of people. The friendships that were forged, they have become such a great support system. And of course, Jessica, she never holds back her knowledge on yoga. Even if we have questions on things that are not in the curriculum, she’ll be there to help you out. You’ll see her cheering you on during practices. Heck, she might even be happier than you are when you’re finally able to get the pose. I hope all of us could continue the journey of learning together, long after we finish our course. Rachelle RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Rachelle: Mental Block (1/6)
I learnt many things from Jessica but one that struck my heart was this: What was stopping me getting into a certain pose might not be all physical. I’ve always been competitive and strive to be number one in everything. (I know, so Singaporean of me… so kiasu.) We were doing Pincha Mayurasana one day and Jessica came over to me and said, “I think what’s stopping you might be the fear of failing.” Did I give up subconsciously before my body? Did my mind betray me somehow? At some level, we’re all afraid of failure. Who doesn’t want to succeed, am I right? I think the lesson here is that yoga, like many things in life, isn’t about the destination. Failing doesn’t make you a failure. It’ll only make you stronger. Just like Kelly Clarkson sang, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Afterall, it’s the journey that counts. The scenery that we often forget to enjoy on the way. So… don’t be afraid to fail. Rachelle RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
