CP: Yoga Journey
10 years ago, my sister had found a yoga class in my hometown and she asking me to go with her. And, my yoga journey beginning. I remember I vomited for my very first time of yoga class because of the posture of rolling forward and backward to massage the spine. Honestly, I’m not enjoying for my first yoga class due to the vomit experience. However, I still attending the yoga class with poor attendance! After 2yrs of passive attendance, I came to Singapore to continue my career, to earn my 2.5 currency exchange rate. I have stopped for yoga around 2 years, and rejoined the corporate yoga after my colleague help me to slot in the lunch hour yoga, it is really difficult to queue for the lunch hour yoga. But unfortunately, I stopped lunch hour yoga again after a year due to the busy workload. Thus, I decided to signup a fitness center which have few classes of yoga, pilate, stretching fit as I have lower back pain. I know for sure, yoga can help me on this. And yes! It is really help me to overcome the lower back pain problem, I started to be more discipline to attend the yoga class. CP RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Simran: A Body Worthy of Belonging
Prior to YTT, I have never worn just a sports bra outside of a bathroom or my bedroom. I have issues with how my midsection looks. I feel big and bloated and disproportionate and definitely not yogi-like. Then again, what does it mean to be yogi-like? What does it mean to have a body worthy of belonging to the yoga community? Slender and svelte? Slim? Flexible? No love handles? I guess I had conjured up my own definition for it, and it definitely wasn’t what I thought my body was like. Every weekend, my YTT mates would remove their tops to do their asanas in their leggings and their sports bras and I would always secretly marvel at their confidence to do so. I clung to my tshirts like they were my lifeline, despite the heat and the perspiration and the fact that my tshirts’ neck-openings would fall open and attempt to suffocate me every time I was in the downward dog pose. On a particular day, we were taking individual photos of ourselves while doing poses. I had taken 2 photos with my tshirt on but I began wondering what it would be like to take one in just my sports bra and my leggings (especially given that I was wearing a chilli red sports bra and it made me feel like fiyaaah). I turned to my YTT mate, Nia, and asked her if I should remove my tshirt. She said ‘why don’t you want to do it?’ and I told her that I didn’t feel good about my tummy area. And she said ‘if you just wear your sports bra, you’ll be able to represent other women who have bodies like yours’. It got me thinking that one of the reasons I have issues with my body is because I don’t see many people with such a body in the yogasphere and that maybe, just maybe, if I had seen people that looked like me then I would feel better. Perhaps? Well, I’m glad Nia said that to me because I decided to remove my shirt (and my YTT mates whooped and cheered, which both embarrassed and emboldened me *insert finger heart*) because this time I felt like I had a worthy reason – to make just 1 other person with a body like mine to see that it’s okay. We don’t have to cover ourselves up due to our insecurities. I’m still insecure, but I feel myself being less constrained by it. Now, if I’m really feeling hot and sweaty, I’ll just remove my shirt. Let the world see my bumps and rolls. If yoga can accept them, I can too. Simran RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Xiaohui: Thank You
I am thankful that I have a very good teacher, Jessica. She knows my limits, she knows my conditions, she knows my body more than myself. She knows what I can do, it is really surprised me, all the time! No joke! When I said, I cannot do this, I cannot do that… she said “I think you can! We will see later!”. Her eyes filled with confidence on me, it was like sending some forces to me. And every time, she was right, I CAN DO IT. I remembered when we were learning the standing sequence 1 and 2, I cannot do the full sequence due to my weak legs. I guessed I looked quite depressed, and Jessica noticed that. She told me “you are here for your spine, not your legs. Don’t worry, take your time. You are very good and I am very proud of you. Imagine you were working from zero.” This mean so much for me! Thank you, Jessica, for everything that you have done for me and all of us. Headstand is the pose that I never thought that I am able to do it within 2 months. Today (04 Oct 2020), another breakthrough, with Jessica’s guidance, adjustment and the support from all the lovely batchmates, I managed to go up to the wall and stay for 1 second! Trying to recall the previous headstand attempt, I cannot differentiate tuck in the tailbone and arch the back because it’s upside down. I’m getting there, bit by bit, slowly and progressively. I am thankful that I have all my batchmates, Carmen, Chiet Ping, Felicia, Nia, Preeti, Rachelle, Sylvia, Simran and Tina. I surrounding by all the beautiful kind souls. We encouraging each other, cheer for each other, laughter and tears. They are happier than me when I was able to do a pose that I think I cannot do. All of you are so lovely! I couldn’t ask for more. Xiaohui RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Xiaohui: Time Flies
Time flies. Now it’s already more than half of my YTT journey. It is not easy to be a yoga teacher. Creating sequence for the class, memorize the instructions, to be an observant, to be patience, to be genuine, be positive. Physically and mentally need to be very strong. There are so much to learn and explore. Enjoy the time we do sweat together. Enjoy the time we studying theory. I think I am the slowest when writing the notes, keep asking Jessica to repeat it. Enjoy the time we do new poses. Enjoy the way Jessica teaches and love her reactions and face expressions. Love the interactions in the class. I start missing all those moments. Hope I can have a time traveller. Xiaohui RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Xiaohui: Continue Learning
“Observer Observing The Observed” – Jessica Sinclair “Yoga is not a work-out, it is a work-in. And this is the point of spiritual practice; to make us teachable; to open up our hearts and focus our awareness so that we can know what we already know and be who we already are.” – Rolf Gates Acceptance of myself. Observe my own body. Relearn my body. Listen to my body. Do not violent to other people or myself. Everyone’s body are so unique. Different body proportion will compliment in certain poses. I cannot do this pose but I might be good in another pose. Most importantly, we have to know what are the purposes and the benefits of the pose. I gained more awareness and physically getting stronger from day one of YTT. I witnessed the progress of my batchmates and myself. By the way, I have a feeling, I feel that “the more I know, the more I don’t know”. YTT200hr is just the beginning. Xiaohui RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Xiaohui: The Easiest and The Most Difficult
I am not a person who attended many yoga classes before YTT. In fact, I know very little about Yoga, but I don’t know why, people around me, thought I know about yoga just because I attended some yoga classes. Or just because they saw me carry the yoga mat walking around? Tadasana, the mountain pose, it is so simple to me, just stand there, isn’t it the easiest yoga pose? I was wrong. There are so many details in the pose. I need to stand like a mountain, stand without moving, firmly grounded on the mat. I didn’t know I need to firmly ground all 4 corners of my feet on the mat, engage my core, tuck in my tailbone, tuck in my ribs, depress my shoulders away from ears. Oh ya, do not knock my knees! Wait a minute, I still have to “edit” my body (for my scoliosis)! I start sweating even just standing in Tadasana and Urdhva Hastasana! “Yoga is not about touching your toes; it is what you learn on the way down” – Jigar Gor Xiaohui RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Xiaohui: Full-time Job & YTT
It is stressful! YTT is almost like studying a part-time course. I need to wake up earlier than working day. No rest day on weekends. It is very challenging! I am physically weak, I am not flexible, weak core, tight hamstring, weak body strength, not enough stamina, etc. Surya Namaskar (Sun Salutation) A first 2 sets is already used up all my strength, total we need to do 5 sets of Sun Salutation A and 5 sets of Sun Salutation B. I was squeezing all my strength to continue, but I don’t even can complete the 5 sets of Sun Salutation A. I looked around my batchmates, all of them are so strong, all of them can complete all 10 sets. I am not good in memorizing. We need to memorize the sequences, the Sanskrit’s names of the poses and the instructions. This part really took me some time to do it better. I even studying and keep memorizing in my dream! With the above stress, I am always looking forward for the classes! To get some weekends “tortures”, to have fun with my teacher and batchmates. So good that can be surrounded by nice people and positive vibes! Xiaohui RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Xiaohui: Searching “Yoga for Scoliosis”
I have scoliosis since I was a teenager. Back then, not many people knew what is scoliosis. I knew the surgery fees are high and my family may not be affordable. So, I hide my scoliosis from my parents. I try everything to hide my hump and my curve spine. Recent few years, I feel more and more uncomfortable at my neck, shoulders and back. I suspect it is due to my scoliosis. I searched and tried many methods. From TCM, Pilates, Chiropractic and even Yoga (before I found Jessica). The results were not what I expected and this drove me very depressed. “Surgery” crossed my mind, but surgery is always the solution as the last resort. I sought advice from a specialist doctor and the doctor did not advise me for surgery but to monitor the curve degree because my puberty age was already over. He said I may try yoga and Pilates. I am at the helpless junction again. It is so difficult to find a yoga teacher who can teach yoga for a scoliosis person. I still remembered, one day in 2019, I was waiting for the bus to work, I told myself, okay, let’s search online again for “yoga for scoliosis”. Yes! I found something related! “How Yoga Healed Jessica Sinclair’s Curved Spine & Gave Her a New Lease of Life” This subject drew ALL my attention. I read the full article and searched more for The Yoga Mandala. The journey of Jessica was so amazing! Without any delay and second thought, I contacted The Yoga Mandala for private class and Jessica invited me to speak to her in person, she explained to me the way of her teaching and her expectations of a student. After a few private sessions with Jessica, I felt so good (In fact, I felt very good after the first session)! I love her teaching. All the poses, instructions and addressed my problem so on the point! I felt that she could feel my feelings! (only the people who has scoliosis can really feel how I feel) I still remembered, Jessica told me, yoga is not the 1 hour on the mat only, I or we need to practice yoga at the moment I wake up, when I am walking, when I am sitting, even when I am breathing. Awareness is very important! I want to learn more from her! I want to help myself! “YTT” – What is YTT? Yoga teacher? Can I be a yoga teacher to teach myself? I am a super beginner in yoga, can I attend? Yes, I can attend the YTT! The Yoga Teacher Training! To be a teacher, to teach myself (at least for myself)! My YTT journey has begun! Xiaohui RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Nia: 27 September – Dharana
Taught my first full 1 hour (ok 55 minutes) class today! I was so anxious about it because up till today we had only taught at most 6-pose sequence, and now we had to try and teach a full sequence! I spent last night trying to memorise my entire sequence, and when I thought I was ready and was starting to settle down to sleep, I remembered we had to prepare a music playlist too. So I spent another hour scrolling frantically through Spotify. Anyway, I was the second person to teach today, and I was totally on edge the whole time I was waiting for my turn. When it was finally my turn to teach, I was still pretty flustered and I think it was pretty obvious. I kept getting distracted by random thoughts like ‘will they like my sequence?’ or ‘will my class be too short?’. My mind was racing so much I forgot a couple of poses in my sequence. After a while though, I slowly got into the groove of things. I became more attentive about what my ‘students’ were doing and concentrated on what I was supposed to be teaching. I think I managed to wrap it up pretty okay. I realised that teaching actually requires not just a lot of focus on the task at hand, but also the ability to deal with the distracting thoughts in your head. We need to focus on the sequence, watch the students, correct them, make sure you’re audible etc. Since there’s so much to focus on, you can’t really afford to let your thoughts get a hold of you. I guess it’s a good way to practice dharana too! I’m still slightly nervous, but I’m also much more excited to try teaching actual classes! Hopefully all goes well 🙂 Nia RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
Nia: 26 Sept – Tapas
Today’s practice was quite an enlightening one for a lot of us – I managed to get into my first tripod headstand! I felt the same way I did when I attempted pincha. Tripod headstand is more accessible for me but I’ve managed to surprise myself yet again when I got into it on my own. Jessica kept repeating the same things again – tuck in ribs, tuck in tailbone, and as I watched the others practice inversions, I began to understand why she always has to repeat herself HAHA. I’ve also begun to realise how far I’ve come since I stepped into a yoga studio for the first time. I remember not being able to touch my toes in forward folds, or even getting my heels down in downward dog. My first teacher introduced me to the concept of ‘tapas’. She taught me that tapas referred to the ‘heat’ generated in the body as you practiced, and that it was encouraged that you maintain this heat throughout the entire practice by not interrupting yourself (by going to the toilet or sitting and drinking water in the middle of a sequence, etc). It might sound a little strict to some, but I found that it helped me maintain my focus during practice. As we learned the ‘bonus’ YTT sequence (tittibhasana to crow to teddy bear/tripod and back to crow) I realised that maintaining tapas is quite important to complete this transition. Even more so if you want to complete the entire sequence without your feet touching the floor! I had to really keep my mind focused on what I was doing and be constantly aware of all the muscles I was engaging. I find that I tend to get distracted by my thoughts a lot. I took a long time to learn to get into crow pose, and I think it was because I used to overthink a lot and scared myself out of the pose. That’s not to say that I don’t overthink anymore, but probably less than I used to. There were a lot of moments during YTT where I was constantly reminded that there really isn’t much point in overthinking things. It’s another reason why I’m really glad I chose to do it at TYM. Nia RYT200 Aug’20 Weekend
