B L O G

Everyone has fears right? They come in all sorts of shapes and forms. There are mental fears that exist only in my head. There are also physical fears that warn me of danger. I often allow my fears to get the better of me, and in doing so, I’ve missed out on the untapped potential within me. I fear face-planting the ground while doing arm balances and falling out of inversions. In our YTT, although we were always told to first use blocks as a safety precaution, I still fear face-planting the block. Point is, I tell myself, be scared but do it anyway (with necessary safety precautions of course). Because each time I fall, I pick myself back up, and I try again. And I know that one day when I can comfortably and confidently hold a pose, it would be because I fell over and over countless times, but never gave up.   Another fear that I struggled with was my teaching being judged. I was afraid that people would think that my teaching voice sounded weird and that I would not be able to give clear instruction cues. However, I am beyond blessed to be surrounded by the absolute sweetest and most supportive bunch of women in my YTT journey. I also have the most precious and supportive friends, and a sister, who has lovingly and graciously allowed me to practice my instruction cues on them. After Jessica's advice (as mentioned in my previous blog post) struck a chord within me, I started to let go of this fear and began having more fun teaching. As I started to embrace this newfound joy in teaching yoga, instruction cues for different poses started to come more naturally to me and I no longer feel as anxious or stressed out when it was my turn to teach. I stopped having to rigidly memorize the instructions for each pose and could instead let other instructions flow to my mind and out of my mouth after giving the main instructions.   This YTT has made me realize that I have always been letting my fears hold me back. I’ve truly come to realize that if I don’t own my fears, then my fears will own me. It’s either one or the other. So, this is me telling my fears, I see you and I hear you, but I am not afraid of you. I embrace you because you will allow me to grow and rise up to my untapped potential within.   Phyllis 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend

As we started teaching more and more, I started to become very aware of how my teaching voice sounded very different from my normal voice. My teaching voice didn’t feel right, it never felt like it belonged to me. It constantly felt like I was trying to sound like someone I was not and instead, to sound like what I thought yoga teachers are supposed to sound like. The people close to me found my teaching voice weird as they were not used to me speaking like that. I became very conscious of my teaching voice but at the same time, I also felt like I couldn’t use my normal voice to teach either. This created a disharmony within me whenever I was teaching as there would always be a small voice at the back of my head telling me that I sound weird, and that people are going to think that I sound weird.   I told Jessica about the disharmony I was feeling and asked for her advice. She advised me to redirect my focus away from what other people thought about me and instead, focus on the top two priorities I should have as a teacher. The first priority is the safety of the people that I am teaching. The second priority is making sure that my instruction cues can be understood. Her advice struck a chord within me, and I instantly understood that I needed to re-direct my focus back onto why I had decided to sign up for the YTT and to ground myself, and my intentions again.   I also asked Jessica for advice on how I can discover my own teaching style and she gave me very useful tips that will definitely help me in my journey of discovering my own style. Jessica said that I could use landmarks such as windows or mirrors when giving cues and it brought back memories of how helpful landmark cues were when other teachers had used them in classes I attended. Jessica also advised me to use a higher-pitched voice when giving instruction cues and use a lower-pitched voice when easing people into a more relaxed state.   The lesson that I have learned from this would definitely ripple out into other aspects of my life as well as I become more aware of re-shifting my focus and re-grounding my intentions onto things that truly matter.   Phyllis 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend

Besides being in a new and unfamiliar environment, the YTT experience was a huge change from simply practicing yoga as a student. I felt very lost and disoriented as there were many new types of information that I was learning but could not yet absorb efficiently. Becoming a certified yoga teacher felt so out of reach. However, our trainer, Jessica advised us to apply what we learned in layers and that worked like a charm! By the end of the second weekend, Sanskrit no longer seemed like gibberish to me, and I started to understand new information faster and could better apply them as well.   In addition to being in a new environment, I was nervous but excited to be meeting new people that I would be training with for the next twelve weekends. However, when I realized that I was the youngest trainee among my batch, and the only one still schooling, my first thought was overwhelmingly human — what if I can’t fit in? What if I couldn’t get along with my batch mates or form a bond with them? I felt a little alone and scared during the first weekend, but by the end of the second weekend, all my worries washed away.   Perhaps it was our shared experiences of perspiring like crazy while doing drills or struggling to pronounce Sanskrit together or our love and curiosity towards yoga, or perhaps all of it, that brought us closer together so quickly. I grew so comfortable with my batch mates that I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I am not only immensely inspired but also greatly humbled by the strength and incredible growth that I witness again and again from my batch mates. I am extremely thankful for this precious opportunity to have crossed paths with a group of strong and unique individuals, and it is my absolute honour to be training alongside them throughout my YTT journey.   Phyllis 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend

What I really appreciated about the YTT was the gradual and thoughtful transitioning and scaffolding towards our teaching weeks. We began the training as students and now as we are so close to graduation, we have begun to embrace the act of teaching.   I remember everyone’s initial bewilderment and frustration learning the names of the various asanas in Sanskrit – “if we can’t even grasp Sanskrit, how would we even provide the accompanying instructions for the poses?”, we wondered. In our first few weeks, we would earnestly scrutinise the instructions of the various sequences before the start of class, and brace ourselves when Jessica announced our assigned sequence (e.g. Standing Sequence 2, right side) to teach that morning. To give instructions with clarity whilst holding a pose (hello, Super Soldier!) required intense focus and concentration, that we would be so exhausted but equally fulfilled after morning practice.   As Jessica promised, teaching would get easier and more intuitive as we progressed during the YTT. We wouldn’t simply memorise, but actually understand the requirements of each asana: its regressions and progressions, and how to provide the best verbal cues and instructions for students.   Teaching our first classes was such a revelation – from ensuring we maintain eye contact and engagement with our students, to understanding the pace, tone and projection of voice to best align to the movement/practice (e.g. a calm and soothing voice for Pranayama and Savasana; and an energetic and motivating voice for drills and cardio-inspired movements). In planning and teaching my class, I am reminded of the first limb of Patanjali’s 8 Limbs of Yoga – Yama, which stresses the importance of ethics, morality and integrity, in particular, Asteya (non-stealing: action). For your student to devote 60 minutes of their life as they share their practice with you, it is the role of the teacher to plan, prepare and deliver the yoga class with diligence, kindness, abundance and compassion. It is through embodying the 8 Limbs of Yoga that we can become mindful and reflexive yoga teachers and practitioners.   Kim 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend

Prior to YTT, I used to experience yoga classes with genuine curiosity – how would yoga teachers sequence the series of asanas, what were their considerations? From imagining a holistic flow and scaffolding the various poses (from easiest to most challenging), to effectively stretching, mobilising and engaging the necessary muscles to get into a peak pose/s, before finally settling into Savasana. I had deep admiration for the yoga teachers who created thoughtful, engaging, dynamic and energetic flows and sequences.   Learning how to design my own yoga sequence has been most enlightening – it could be likened to conducting an orchestra, to curating an experience, to choreographing a natural and intuitive flow of movement. We were taught during YTT to organise our asanas in the order of standing, seated, prone, supine, and inversion. Once we had the framework in place, it served as an integral guide towards designing our individual sequences.   Even within each category of asanas (e.g. Standing), we had to be conscious of how the poses would flow and transition, our body’s position and direction in relation to the mat, and to determine the parts of the body and muscles to engage with purpose and intention. I found it useful to research all the necessary poses, distilling the essential asanas (while always considering the objective of the sequence), before organising them in a flow. This included choosing an accompanying music playlist and identifying the points for Pranayama, Surya Namaskar, Vinyasa, and preparatory drills within the sequence.   I have particularly enjoyed designing thematic sequences, for example ‘Mental Health and Wellbeing’ which responds to the overall fatigue and anxiety that has surfaced from the uncertainties of the current pandemic, or ‘Empowerment’ which consists of grounding and powerful poses to build self-confidence. Designing sequences towards a peak pose (e.g. Bakasana) has also been a technical exercise and a reminder to be equally conscious of the required preparation and engagement of the body within my personal practice. Hopefully with more experience, designing creative, dynamic and freestyle sequences will come more intuitively to me.   Kim 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend

To be one with our breath sounds simple, basic and fundamental to our being. Yet, in our hectic day-to-day living, the act of breathing is often overlooked. Learning about Pranayama (in Sanskrit, “prana” refers to ‘life energy’ and “ayama” translates to ‘control’ or ‘to extend or draw out’) has been a wonderful revelation during the YTT. A practice of breath regulation, Pranayama builds intention and purpose with every inhalation and exhalation. Sometimes referred to as the “heart of yoga”, Pranayama seeks to connect the body with the mind by supplying the body with oxygen, which clears toxins and balances our physical and mental wellbeing.   Yoga has been such an embodied practice, and this is clearly illustrated in the Pranayama exercises which are so gestural, symbolic and visceral. The act of Ujjayi Pranayama, which translates to ‘victorious breath’, is steady and rhythmic, with each inhalation and exhalation sounding like the waves of the ocean drawing up the shoreline. Similarly with Brahmari (bumble bee’s breath) which calms the mind and eases anxiety with the soothing humming akin to a bumble bee; or with Bhastrika (bellow’s breath) which is a rapid and forceful technique – much like the bellow that furnishes strong blasts of air to heat up fire, this pranayama energises the body with every breath.   Prior to YTT, the idea of just sitting still to breathe was anxiety-inducing. What if my mind wanders, what if I can’t focus, or get restless and constantly fidget? Wouldn’t this be counter-productive? But I realised my worries were unfounded as the weeks went by. These days, I am grateful for the 20 minutes of Pranayama before commencing our YTT practice. Pranayama provides the emotional and mental space for self reflection and awareness, to find stillness and quiet, and to be humble, grateful and to honour my yoga practice.   Kim 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend

Writing these blog posts are great reminders of the values that I hold dearly to my yoga journey and practice. To reiterate the importance of stillness, to stay grounded and seek quiet strength, but also of humility and devotion to practice.   I was captivated by the origins of Astavakrasana, or Eight Angle Pose which is named after the Sage, Astavakra. Before he was born and still in his mother’s womb, the Sage had heard his father mispronounce one of the verses of Vedas and decided to correct him. His father flew into a rage and as a punishment, proclaimed that the Astavakra would be born with eight deformities. Despite being bent in eight places – thus the name Asta (eight) and Vakra (bent) – the Sage prevailed to be a wise and spiritual man despite his physical deformities and challenges. Being in Astavakrasana takes one to a very humbling place. As an asymmetrical posture, it requires strength, balance and equilibrium. It has been an incredibly powerful reminder of self-reflection; of devotion, humility, mindfulness and patience in practice during my YTT.   Learning to overcome my irrational fear of inversions was one of my key goals for this YTT. Perhaps at the root of this aversion is the act of going upside-down, losing control, and the possibility of falling. Now being in an inversion, an asana where your head is above your heart, is strangely addictive and energising. It requires perceptive awareness of your body – to tuck ribs, have shoulder awareness, and engagement of the legs and lower body. An inversion ultimately builds mental strength and focus, nurtures patience and perseverance, and asks that we be brave and trust the process. I will make it a point before the year ends, to finally have the courage to go into Salamba Sirsasana without relying on a wall for support.   Kim 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend

Five years ago, the very idea of touching my toes seemed far away and impossible. Always looming over my head was the perception that my lack of flexibility would impede my ability to twist into funky shapes, or express myself in a heart-opening backbend. Something as basic as touching my toes was almost laughable. I remember the ‘sit and reach’ as my weakest component during the annual physical fitness tests in school, which would often be the reason I’d miss out on the coveted ‘Gold Award’ by just mere centimetres.   But like many things in life, even folding into a simple Uttanasana (standing forward bend) requires practice and dedication. What I hadn’t realised was that despite the basic action of bending over to touch my toes, I was not consciously engaging the right muscles to bring me into a deeper stretch. During the YTT, I developed awareness to hinge from the hips and engage my core to bring my stomach closer to my thighs. It is by lengthening the spine that I can extend further forward towards the ground and have my fingers not just graze the mat, but have my palms flat. Even bringing the crown of my head towards the ground and ensuring my shoulders are away from ears, allowed me to experience this stretch more deeply.   Similar to uttanasana, I applied this awareness with Paschimottanasana (seated forward fold). That it wasn’t just stretching to touch my toes, but to also move with the breath. I am conscious of inhaling, keeping my front torso long and leaning forward from the hips. As I reach for my big toes, my core is engaged to pull myself forward as I keep my chest open and retract my shoulder blades.   The benefits of both poses include to calm the brain to relieve stress and mild depression, reduce fatigue and anxiety, soothe headaches, improve digestion, and stretch the spine, shoulders and hamstrings – a truly effective asana for the stressful day-to-day living.   Kim 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend

Taking signs from the universe that this year is about embracing transformation and change, I embarked on this YTT programme with great courage and optimism. It truly turned out to be one of my best decisions for 2021. For a while, I had been exploring various programmes that will work on mobility and also holistically strengthen my body and being. This proved challenging since I wasn’t seeking a purely physical fitness programme/course, and for a long time, I didn’t think yoga was at its core, what I was inclined towards. I was neither flexible or nimble, nor did I look like the slender yogis that permeated my Instagram feed.   Still, out of sheer happenstance, a friend who is a fitness trainer and instructor, mentioned The Yoga Mandela (TYM) during our lunch earlier this year. I asked if she knew of training programmes that merged strength and mobility within yoga and she mentioned TYM’s Yoga Teaching Training (YTT). Prior to this, I had googled “YTT” months ago and none of the programmes really spoke to me. However, looking at TYM’s social media presence and its dedication as a teachers academy, I took the leap of faith and visited the studio, and decided to sign up for the YTT later that week.   Writing this now as we have entered the teaching weeks, it has made me realise how far we’ve progressed in our yoga journey and practice. From grounding our pranayama practice, learning the various asanas, working on verbal and physical adjustments, to now creating our own sequences and delivering a 60-minute class. I would not have thought this was even possible two months ago.   If anything, this YTT has taught me to be patient in my practice, to nurture purpose and intention in all that I do. To not rush into poses but to enter each asana with understanding; to engage the muscles and parts of my body and activate them knowingly. It reiterated that yoga is an ongoing journey and even after YTT is over, I will endeavour to continue my practice with focus whilst instilling quiet strength.   Kim 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend