Surviving and Resolute: Shi Qi
The third stage of my YTT experience can be termed as “Surviving and Resolute”. Accepting COVID to be part of our lives and adapt accordingly to it seems to be the way to go so moving on with the third stage! This stage of the YTT would be when most sequences comes together to make your life more tor…ture…. I mean exciting. Just when you thought you nailed the instructions for the standing and seated sequences, here comes prone and supine sequences plus inversions… It is also a period whereby the main goal of every practice weekend is to survive till break time (which we pretty much did, minus the zombie-fied mannerisms afterwards)! So, what is the resolute part, you might wonder? Throughout the process, I think the resolute comes from how everyone turned up for practice, made the effort to remember each of the sequence, teach it and improve on the poses despite the weekday commitment. It comes from trying to practice a particular pose again and again despite falling multiple times. It is also the realization that: “mind over body” and “no emotions” when you are in some poses. The practice of yoga transcends beyond the physical component and having the mental capacity is equally important. At this point in time, the phrase “you are stronger than you think” comes into play. What makes this process even more worthwhile is definitely having a group of like-minded people go through this with you. How everyone celebrated the small or big wins with you, how you learn by observing each other and how you have your personal group of cheerleaders is such a booster for you to continue nailing the poses. And even when you fail, you know these people will always be there to catch you when you fall (figuratively and literally). Shi Qi 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend
Practice and COVID: Shi Qi
The second stage of my YTT experience can be termed as “Practice and COVID”. As the name suggest, no prize for guessing what happened during the next few weeks of the YTT journey. As the number of COVID cases rises, so did our frustration and anxiety. From mask on practice to mask off practice to mask on practice, we don’t really know what is happening anymore. But through it all, I am glad the restrictions and precautions are in place and that we really tried our best to keep to them. COVID scares are not uncommon as of that point in time and kudos to everyone in The Yoga Mandala (especially Jess and Alexis) for trying to keep us safe! Oh, not to forget! We had our exclusive experience of dining at the famous pond area for lunch! One does not simply graduate from YTT without going through this rite of passage. So back to practice, curious what happens to the body now? I am proud to say that while 6.30am call time during the weekends is still a struggle, it does not come off as rude shock to the body anymore (at least for mine). Drills still draws the life away from me but they strongly became more bearable. This is also a time whereby your life starts to get infiltrated by Sanskrits and teaching instructions. And you are beginning to wonder how can breathing (when combined with instructions and demonstration) be so difficult? Learning is definitely limited by the restrictions but I am definitely amazed by the adaptability that everyone has shown. And this is also the time that you get past that initial awkward stage with everyone else and venturing into the different topics of our lives helps to bring everyone closer (to bear in mind the time limit though…. your arms might not thank you if you are asked to do extra push ups). Shi Qi 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend
What yoga means to me: Phyllis
I was going through a really difficult time as I felt like I didn’t know who I was. I felt so lost in the idea of who I am, and I couldn’t even recognize myself anymore. That was when I found yoga, or rather, yoga found me. Yoga became a compass, a beacon of light in my life, that began to guide me back home to myself. My yoga practice does not distract me from the difficulties I’m going through, but rather, guides me to hold space for myself to sit with and feel my emotions just as they are. For me to say my yoga journey has always been rainbows and sunshine, would be a big fat lie. There were countless days where it felt like the darkest nights filled with torrential rain would never end. But even then, my practice taught me that I could always come back to the home within myself. That my body, my mind, and my soul is a safe space where I can surrender to the journey that we call life. In all honesty, I would say I’m a pretty chaotic person. Kind of weird and slightly crazy as well. And yoga became the silence and stillness I never knew I needed. With yoga, I started to become more aware of how and where I am restricted in my body, mind, and heart. My practice taught me to work on releasing these blockages and freeing my energy. I started to feel more harmonious and at one with myself. I feel more and more aligned with my body, my mind, and my soul than I have ever been in my life. Yoga is truly a lifelong journey where I’ll always be a student. I thank my body for being a vessel filled with enough strength to allow myself to crumble down and yet rise back up again. I thank my mind for all that I’ve learned and for being open to what I have yet to learn. And I thank my soul for slowly but surely, learning to feel at home with myself and in turn, everything else. Phyllis 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend
Exploring my spirituality: Phyllis
Jessica taught us about the different types of elements in our bodies, as well as the seven main chakras in our bodies. This is a relatively new learning field to me as my practice has always been dominantly physical and mental. As I learned more, I started to become slightly more aware of the energy within my body, as well as the energy in my surroundings. The first time I experienced my chakras being activated was during morning meditation. I tried out Jessica’s suggestion of meditating in a kneeling position as she told us that the discomfort would help us to better focus on one thought. True enough, all I could think of then were the discomfort my toes were feeling. It was and still is, a pretty unexplainable experience. However, I do know that spirituality would be an area I would like to continue exploring. Before the YTT, the only type of energy I felt was more so the kind of vibes that people gave off them, or the types of energy I learned in secondary school (LOL). I was not even aware that spirituality and religiosity were different. I know, right? So, I had a chat with Jessica about what I was experiencing, and she advised me to focus on the energy within myself and that spirituality would come to me when I am ready for it. Spirituality, she said, is a journey that is best not to be rushed. And I agree with that. Weiying 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend
Owning my fears: Phyllis
Everyone has fears right? They come in all sorts of shapes and forms. There are mental fears that exist only in my head. There are also physical fears that warn me of danger. I often allow my fears to get the better of me, and in doing so, I’ve missed out on the untapped potential within me. I fear face-planting the ground while doing arm balances and falling out of inversions. In our YTT, although we were always told to first use blocks as a safety precaution, I still fear face-planting the block. Point is, I tell myself, be scared but do it anyway (with necessary safety precautions of course). Because each time I fall, I pick myself back up, and I try again. And I know that one day when I can comfortably and confidently hold a pose, it would be because I fell over and over countless times, but never gave up. Another fear that I struggled with was my teaching being judged. I was afraid that people would think that my teaching voice sounded weird and that I would not be able to give clear instruction cues. However, I am beyond blessed to be surrounded by the absolute sweetest and most supportive bunch of women in my YTT journey. I also have the most precious and supportive friends, and a sister, who has lovingly and graciously allowed me to practice my instruction cues on them. After Jessica's advice (as mentioned in my previous blog post) struck a chord within me, I started to let go of this fear and began having more fun teaching. As I started to embrace this newfound joy in teaching yoga, instruction cues for different poses started to come more naturally to me and I no longer feel as anxious or stressed out when it was my turn to teach. I stopped having to rigidly memorize the instructions for each pose and could instead let other instructions flow to my mind and out of my mouth after giving the main instructions. This YTT has made me realize that I have always been letting my fears hold me back. I’ve truly come to realize that if I don’t own my fears, then my fears will own me. It’s either one or the other. So, this is me telling my fears, I see you and I hear you, but I am not afraid of you. I embrace you because you will allow me to grow and rise up to my untapped potential within. Phyllis 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend
Figuring out my teaching style: Phyllis
As we started teaching more and more, I started to become very aware of how my teaching voice sounded very different from my normal voice. My teaching voice didn’t feel right, it never felt like it belonged to me. It constantly felt like I was trying to sound like someone I was not and instead, to sound like what I thought yoga teachers are supposed to sound like. The people close to me found my teaching voice weird as they were not used to me speaking like that. I became very conscious of my teaching voice but at the same time, I also felt like I couldn’t use my normal voice to teach either. This created a disharmony within me whenever I was teaching as there would always be a small voice at the back of my head telling me that I sound weird, and that people are going to think that I sound weird. I told Jessica about the disharmony I was feeling and asked for her advice. She advised me to redirect my focus away from what other people thought about me and instead, focus on the top two priorities I should have as a teacher. The first priority is the safety of the people that I am teaching. The second priority is making sure that my instruction cues can be understood. Her advice struck a chord within me, and I instantly understood that I needed to re-direct my focus back onto why I had decided to sign up for the YTT and to ground myself, and my intentions again. I also asked Jessica for advice on how I can discover my own teaching style and she gave me very useful tips that will definitely help me in my journey of discovering my own style. Jessica said that I could use landmarks such as windows or mirrors when giving cues and it brought back memories of how helpful landmark cues were when other teachers had used them in classes I attended. Jessica also advised me to use a higher-pitched voice when giving instruction cues and use a lower-pitched voice when easing people into a more relaxed state. The lesson that I have learned from this would definitely ripple out into other aspects of my life as well as I become more aware of re-shifting my focus and re-grounding my intentions onto things that truly matter. Phyllis 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend
Beginning of the YTT: Phyllis
Besides being in a new and unfamiliar environment, the YTT experience was a huge change from simply practicing yoga as a student. I felt very lost and disoriented as there were many new types of information that I was learning but could not yet absorb efficiently. Becoming a certified yoga teacher felt so out of reach. However, our trainer, Jessica advised us to apply what we learned in layers and that worked like a charm! By the end of the second weekend, Sanskrit no longer seemed like gibberish to me, and I started to understand new information faster and could better apply them as well. In addition to being in a new environment, I was nervous but excited to be meeting new people that I would be training with for the next twelve weekends. However, when I realized that I was the youngest trainee among my batch, and the only one still schooling, my first thought was overwhelmingly human — what if I can’t fit in? What if I couldn’t get along with my batch mates or form a bond with them? I felt a little alone and scared during the first weekend, but by the end of the second weekend, all my worries washed away. Perhaps it was our shared experiences of perspiring like crazy while doing drills or struggling to pronounce Sanskrit together or our love and curiosity towards yoga, or perhaps all of it, that brought us closer together so quickly. I grew so comfortable with my batch mates that I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I am not only immensely inspired but also greatly humbled by the strength and incredible growth that I witness again and again from my batch mates. I am extremely thankful for this precious opportunity to have crossed paths with a group of strong and unique individuals, and it is my absolute honour to be training alongside them throughout my YTT journey. Phyllis 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend
Towards becoming a teacher: Kim
What I really appreciated about the YTT was the gradual and thoughtful transitioning and scaffolding towards our teaching weeks. We began the training as students and now as we are so close to graduation, we have begun to embrace the act of teaching. I remember everyone’s initial bewilderment and frustration learning the names of the various asanas in Sanskrit – “if we can’t even grasp Sanskrit, how would we even provide the accompanying instructions for the poses?”, we wondered. In our first few weeks, we would earnestly scrutinise the instructions of the various sequences before the start of class, and brace ourselves when Jessica announced our assigned sequence (e.g. Standing Sequence 2, right side) to teach that morning. To give instructions with clarity whilst holding a pose (hello, Super Soldier!) required intense focus and concentration, that we would be so exhausted but equally fulfilled after morning practice. As Jessica promised, teaching would get easier and more intuitive as we progressed during the YTT. We wouldn’t simply memorise, but actually understand the requirements of each asana: its regressions and progressions, and how to provide the best verbal cues and instructions for students. Teaching our first classes was such a revelation – from ensuring we maintain eye contact and engagement with our students, to understanding the pace, tone and projection of voice to best align to the movement/practice (e.g. a calm and soothing voice for Pranayama and Savasana; and an energetic and motivating voice for drills and cardio-inspired movements). In planning and teaching my class, I am reminded of the first limb of Patanjali’s 8 Limbs of Yoga – Yama, which stresses the importance of ethics, morality and integrity, in particular, Asteya (non-stealing: action). For your student to devote 60 minutes of their life as they share their practice with you, it is the role of the teacher to plan, prepare and deliver the yoga class with diligence, kindness, abundance and compassion. It is through embodying the 8 Limbs of Yoga that we can become mindful and reflexive yoga teachers and practitioners. Kim 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend
Reflections on sequencing: Kim
Prior to YTT, I used to experience yoga classes with genuine curiosity – how would yoga teachers sequence the series of asanas, what were their considerations? From imagining a holistic flow and scaffolding the various poses (from easiest to most challenging), to effectively stretching, mobilising and engaging the necessary muscles to get into a peak pose/s, before finally settling into Savasana. I had deep admiration for the yoga teachers who created thoughtful, engaging, dynamic and energetic flows and sequences. Learning how to design my own yoga sequence has been most enlightening – it could be likened to conducting an orchestra, to curating an experience, to choreographing a natural and intuitive flow of movement. We were taught during YTT to organise our asanas in the order of standing, seated, prone, supine, and inversion. Once we had the framework in place, it served as an integral guide towards designing our individual sequences. Even within each category of asanas (e.g. Standing), we had to be conscious of how the poses would flow and transition, our body’s position and direction in relation to the mat, and to determine the parts of the body and muscles to engage with purpose and intention. I found it useful to research all the necessary poses, distilling the essential asanas (while always considering the objective of the sequence), before organising them in a flow. This included choosing an accompanying music playlist and identifying the points for Pranayama, Surya Namaskar, Vinyasa, and preparatory drills within the sequence. I have particularly enjoyed designing thematic sequences, for example ‘Mental Health and Wellbeing’ which responds to the overall fatigue and anxiety that has surfaced from the uncertainties of the current pandemic, or ‘Empowerment’ which consists of grounding and powerful poses to build self-confidence. Designing sequences towards a peak pose (e.g. Bakasana) has also been a technical exercise and a reminder to be equally conscious of the required preparation and engagement of the body within my personal practice. Hopefully with more experience, designing creative, dynamic and freestyle sequences will come more intuitively to me. Kim 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend
Being in Pranayama: Kim
To be one with our breath sounds simple, basic and fundamental to our being. Yet, in our hectic day-to-day living, the act of breathing is often overlooked. Learning about Pranayama (in Sanskrit, “prana” refers to ‘life energy’ and “ayama” translates to ‘control’ or ‘to extend or draw out’) has been a wonderful revelation during the YTT. A practice of breath regulation, Pranayama builds intention and purpose with every inhalation and exhalation. Sometimes referred to as the “heart of yoga”, Pranayama seeks to connect the body with the mind by supplying the body with oxygen, which clears toxins and balances our physical and mental wellbeing. Yoga has been such an embodied practice, and this is clearly illustrated in the Pranayama exercises which are so gestural, symbolic and visceral. The act of Ujjayi Pranayama, which translates to ‘victorious breath’, is steady and rhythmic, with each inhalation and exhalation sounding like the waves of the ocean drawing up the shoreline. Similarly with Brahmari (bumble bee’s breath) which calms the mind and eases anxiety with the soothing humming akin to a bumble bee; or with Bhastrika (bellow’s breath) which is a rapid and forceful technique – much like the bellow that furnishes strong blasts of air to heat up fire, this pranayama energises the body with every breath. Prior to YTT, the idea of just sitting still to breathe was anxiety-inducing. What if my mind wanders, what if I can’t focus, or get restless and constantly fidget? Wouldn’t this be counter-productive? But I realised my worries were unfounded as the weeks went by. These days, I am grateful for the 20 minutes of Pranayama before commencing our YTT practice. Pranayama provides the emotional and mental space for self reflection and awareness, to find stillness and quiet, and to be humble, grateful and to honour my yoga practice. Kim 200HR YTT Jul’21 Weekend
